The Fail File - Victoria Carter
“Failure and shame are emotions we all want to run away from and avoid. But, actually, failure is an important way we can learn. It’s often how new business ideas happen and new products are made – and it’s critical for pushing new boundaries. Scientists have 'failed' experiments all the time as they search for the next cure or treatment. Yet when things happen to us, we aren’t wanted for a job, we often see it as our failure and we feel inadequate and ashamed. The truth is failure is where we can learn most. “
Fail File: Brent Impey, director of Devon Funds
Brent Impey, director of Devon Funds.
“I’ve had many disappointing moments due to my decisions or actions. ……My response had destroyed any radio career she might have had. She had recovered, but she wanted me to know. I feel really upset about my behaviour because I think my best and worst quality is when I make immediate decisions. I always tend to be on the front foot, and I destroyed someone’s career. I do regret that.”
Fail File: Catriona Williams, former equestrian and CatWalk SCI Trust founder
”I still recall being terribly upset by it; I was with my talented Grand Prix horse, NRM Falcon, who had a few quirks, like disliking donkeys and jigs. I was at the Hawke's Bay A & P Show, the grand parade had begun, and I was attempting a triple jump at the showgrounds. Falcon spotted a horse and cart out of the corner of his eye, and he bolted out of the ring back to the horse truck. I bawled my eyes out, but what could I do? It was a life lesson – shit happens, and you sometimes have absolutely no control over it!”
Fail File: John Dunn, surgeon and founder of Endoscopy Auckland
“I think what paralyses people is fear – failure and fear are very linked. Don’t have a fear of failure, and if you do fail, don’t be afraid to get back on the horse.”
Fail File: Jacqui Bensemann, managing director of Argus Fire Protection"
“I know life’s not fair. It’s not fair David died so early, but it happened, and you have to get on with it. [Jacqui’s husband, David Leggat, was a sports journalist who died unexpectedly on a celebratory family holiday at Lake Como, Italy.] I’ve learned the value of a great partner. I wouldn’t be where I am today without having had those 40 wonderful years together. David gave me a great foundation. Having such a special person in your life is a critical part of humanity. For all those who have never experienced companionship like this, it must be so lonely.”
The Fail File: TV producer John Barnett
John Barnett, producer of Whale Rider, Footrot Flats, Sione's Wedding, the Brokenwood Mysteries and many more.
“We learn so much from failure, and the reality is not everything works. The trick is to keep learning from your mistakes and keep on! I think we mollycoddle people today. We’re not teaching them about the things they have to learn to navigate the world – like disappointment. In the film industry, we have a proliferation of courses on being a director, yet the fact is NZ only makes about four feature films a year – we don’t teach the reality of the world.”
Fail File: Barbara Glaser, former CEO of the Auckland Philharmonia
“I couldn’t do things I really wanted to because I wasn’t good enough! I did a music degree in trumpet performance. I got a decent mark, but I could see that there were many better players than me. I had a great teacher who said to me: “You know you’re not going to get a job in an orchestra, so what are you going to do?” It was a brutal gift; I felt stabbed in the stomach, but I also knew he was right.”
The Fail File: with Jason Paris of One NZ
“Steve Hansen was explaining how better people make better All Blacks. His words stuck with me when he said, “The mirror never lies”. He was saying you can say whatever you want to others, but you can’t lie to yourself. I always want to be able to look in the mirror and see a kind, fair, good person who always tried their best, looking back.”
The Fail File: Sam Stubbs, chief executive of Simplicity
“I think we need to worship failure more. In the USA, people say, "I tried this, I failed, I tried this, it didn’t work, and then I did this, and it’s turned into this". We have what I call an English middle-class attitude to failure and business – we always try to de-risk it, look for easy routes; maybe that’s why we have so many lawyers and accountants and so few entrepreneurs because too many parents wanted kids to have a safe and reliable job. We need to embrace and encourage failing, reassure kids it’s okay to try things and make mistakes, and teach them how to dust themselves off and try again.”
The Fail File: Kiwibank CEO Steve Jurkovich
“I think we have a real issue with the concept of the value of failure. I was lucky enough to be at a small Silicon Valley dinner with a large venture capitalist. He spoke about a massive failure he had invested in. He said how the founder had had to ring him up and explain that "they had grown too fast, run out of money, and it had failed”. His question, despite having just lost $50 million, back to the founder was, “Well, what are we going to do next? The money is lost, but you’ve learned so much, how do we put it all to good use?” We know a certain number of businesses will fail, but if we are learning and growing all the time, then losing isn’t necessarily a loss.
The Fail File: Kiri Barfoot, director of Barfoot & Thompson
Kiri Barfoot, former director of real-estate company Barfoot & Thompson, What I know is ”Women need to become more financially literate. I think there is a lot of pressure on women to look good, and it’s expensive. Men can wear the same suit day after day. Fast fashion helps keep women poor; we already earn less, add hair and skin care, makeup – it all adds up, and it isn’t sustainable. Women take time out to have children, come back often at lesser pay and often rely on men to make financial decisions. Too late, they realise they should have been part of the financial decision-making. He who has most pay shouldn’t have the most say – it doesn’t make for strong, healthy relationships.”
The fail file: Mike Bennetts, ex-CEO of Z Energy
“I fail all the time. I like to stand for something big and work backwards. [Bennetts explains his use of the "Merlin technique" where you imagine where you want to be and trace the steps backwards.] In doing this you’re likely to succeed more than just incrementally moving in a forward direction from the present. Feeling like you’ve failed is a good thing. Our ID or ego runs our show; we’re often on automatic from past-based stories that determine who we are. “